A B’nai Mitzvah Story by Stacey Agdern

When I was 12, I had my bat mitzvah. I studied long and hard, and on a Saturday morning in October, I stood in front of my family and congregation, read from the Torah, gave my speech and celebrated.

Not long after that, I went to a synagogue a few towns north of where I lived, to celebrate another Bat Mitzvah.  But there was something different. The celebrant was the mother of one of my brother’s friends, a woman in her forties.  Because for multiple reasons, she hadn’t had the chance to have her Bat Mitzvah at 12 or 13 like I did.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand what must have gone through this woman’s head, what made her decide to not only take this step, but also create the space in her life in order to prepare for it. Because as a 12 year old, the space in my life to study for my bat mitzvah was made for me. My parents facilitated this practice, and also made sure I stuck to the schedule created for that purpose. They drove me to lessons and told me when and where I needed to study. Even over the summer.

But my brother’s friend’s mom didn’t have that luxury. Her time, as a professional, a mother and a wife, was rarely her own. Which meant that if she was going to stand before her congregation and have her own Bat Mitzvah, she needed to carve space for that too.

Years later, I involved myself in conversations about what ‘adult coming of age’ books would look like. And that was when I remembered hearing stories about athletes and comedians having their own Bar and Bat Mitzvahs as adults. These people had taken the time, as a way of rediscovering or reconnecting to their Jewish heritage, to undertake the study necessary to prepare for the ceremony. 

As I thought about their stories, and what they had to do, I was reminded of my brother’s friend’s mom.

 

All of these stories, in so many ways, became the inspiration for what would become the B’Nai Mitzvah Mistake. You can see two different journeys towards the choice to have this ceremony as an adult in Judith’s and Asher’s story. And I hope that you also see love.

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FAST FACTS

Coffee or tea?

I can’t choose; I love both

Morning or night?
That weird space where night becomes morning :D yes I’m that kind of night owl

Rivers or oceans?

I live by the river but love visiting the ocean

White wine or red?

White when it’s sweet, red when it’s dry

Champagne or liquor?

Depends

Cupcakes or ice cream?
cupcakes :D

Laptop or desktop?

Laptop to write, desktop to edit

Casual or couture?

Casual :D

Ponytail or headband?

Ponytail

Shower or bath?

Shower

Summer or winter?

Both

Motorcycle or bicycle? Uhhhh.

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GIVEAWAY

Stacey is giving away one copy of her new release to a random commenter!

Not sure what to say? Ask her a question or let her know if you've read another one of her books!

Winner will be chosen at random on Friday, June 16, 2023. If you do not include your email in your comment (not required to win), please be sure to check back here on Friday, June 16, 2023 to see if someone from the agency has replied to your comment letting you know you've won a copy of Stacey's book! See footer for giveaway terms and conditions.

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About Stacey

Stacey Agdern is an award-winning former bookseller who has reviewed romance novels in multiple formats and given talks about various aspects of the romance genre. She is also a romance writer. C. She lives in New York, not far from her favorite hockey team's practice facility.

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